Whatever Josh does, he does in size large. I knew that if Josh was planning an ice fishing trip, we would not be driving 15 minutes, cutting a hole in the ice somewhere and sitting on a little stool. No, not with Josh.
Josh likes things big.
He phoned me with instructions.
Me: Okay. What, exactly, does “first thing” mean to you, Josh?
Me (thinking): He has his own ice fishing shack?! Wow – he’s hard core.
Me (aloud): Do you mean a.m.?
Josh (with disgust in his voice): Yes. A.M. What else? We want some time to fish before it gets dark. You’re not turning into a Whiner, are you?
Me: 4:30 is perfect.
Me (thinking): Why do I do this? Why do I care? I AM a Whiner!! What is it about Josh that makes me do these stupid things. Stupid, COLD, things.
The forecast was for -18C on Saturday.
Josh arrived, as promised, on Saturday morning at 4:30 a.m.
Josh drives a big truck. It’s a loud truck.
If you’re a redneck, you have to drive a big truck. If it’s loud, that’s better.
1. Drive a big truck. Bigger is better. Louder is better.
2. Have strong opinions. Stronger is better. Louder is better.
3. Eat a lot of meat , especially steak. Bigger is better. Take big bites. Chew with your mouth open. Make noises when you eat. Talk with food in your mouth.
I got a little sidetracked there. Where was I? Oh yes…
Josh had arrived. I could hear his truck when he was about a kilometre away. I knew I would have to hurry because when he got to our house, he would not come to the door. He would honk the horn.
I have told Josh repeatedly that this is the number one reason why no girl will marry him, but he insists that I’m wrong. I might be wrong. I might be right. Either way, no girl will marry him. I think he could at least try things my way.
continue to Part 3 – trouble at the lake